Monday, September 11, 2006

The Right Words at the Right Time

In the last post I talked about how cheap words can be. Now I'd like to encourage you a bit to think about saying some important words at the right time.

While an abundance of words can actually diminish the living witness of believers and the Church they make up, there is also a huge weight to words unsaid. Just a short phrase seems to leave a small gap, but that doesn't stop us from filling it up with all kinds of thoughts, feelings, and actions that actually won't fit where the right words will.

Here are some examples of things you could say or you could hear that could transform, liberate, or heal your thoughts and feelings:

1. I love you.
2. I forgive you.
3. I am so sorry for what I've done. Will you forgive me?
4. I am very proud of you.
5. I respect you.
6. I'm glad that you are mine.
7. I need help.
8. Can I help you?

In certain contexts and life situations, any one of those brief sentences can work a miracle in someone's heart, maybe your own.
Some scenarios you might find helpful:

Wives, when was the last time you looked your husband in the eyes and told him you respected him? Do you know how vital it is for men to feel respected? In fact, he could feel like the cream of the crop at work, receive the adulations and congratulations of his bosses and coworkers, and still be aching to hear from his wife that she respects him. It's so easy to forget to do that when we are focusing on all that we have to do, or when we feel short-changed in the respect department ourselves. But remember, a Great Commandment discipleship requires a "me third" lifestyle.

Husbands, try this out sometime soon. When you get in bed for the night with your wife, tenderly take her face in your hands (her face, guys, not her boobies), and say "I'm so glad you are mine." Do you know how vital feeling cherished and chosen is to wives? How important it is that they feel like after x number of years and [mumbles] pounds, you'd still pick them out of a lineup to do life with?

Parents, when was the last time you told one of your children you are proud of them?

Single folks, parents or not, I don't mean to leave you out, but maybe there's someone in your life who's been begging for your forgiveness, or who's been waiting to extend it to you, that you either need to forgive or apologize to. That goes for everyone. The greatest sin in your life right now is whichever one is keeping you from closeness to God and whichever one is separating you from a brother or sister in Christ.
Think hard about contacting someone to express repentance and say "Please forgive me" or to express reconciliation and say "I forgive you."

No, none of this is easy. The words are brief (at first), but they aren't cheap either. They are hard, hard words, sometimes made more difficult to share by hard, hard experiences.
"But you don't know my husband! He always ..."
"But you don't know my wife! She's a total ..."
"But you don't know what this person did to me!"
"But you don't know what I did to this person!"

Okay. Yeah. All right.
I know it's not easy. It took the humiliation, torture, and death of an innocent man to work your forgiveness and reconciliation. So, yeah, it doesn't come without some pain and sacrifice.
But will you trust me that it is worth it?
Okay, don't trust me. What do I know? I'm just a scumbag blogger. ;-)

But trust God that any words that have healing, love, and reconciliation motivating them are very worth it.


At 11:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You said 'boobies' hahahah...They work too, but only after you've been genuine and honest.

Thank you for reminding us how important it is to communicate love in humility to our significant others! We dont do it enough!!!!!!



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